I seem to have left my pride at pride
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
