I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
whose ass print is on the piano?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
