I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This is classic penis vs brain.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
