I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
