I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it hurts more in the daytime
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
