And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
