16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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