how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
