i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
