It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's blow job season.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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