Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
