there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Barsexuality is the new black.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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