You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
