Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it's like iHOP with fire
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
