Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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