T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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