Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
