im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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