i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
