I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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