Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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