There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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