girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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