They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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