One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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