Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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