i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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