Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
