I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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