His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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