So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
