Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
