oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
