How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
not ubering you a puppy
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
