We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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