I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
