i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
