i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
