If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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