The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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