He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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