The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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