forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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