Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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