Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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