Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
