3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
