No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
