i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
