Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
