Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
