youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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