Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
