Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
