Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
