I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
