is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
